On August 3, 2013 Gerry Hochwald passed away.  He was my father and I miss him terribly.  It was an unexpected loss, sudden and sharp the results of it spanning out like the vibrations of one of his pieces of art.

When I established Florence International Theatre Company in 2004, which is the work from which much of the mission of The Global Theatre Project has been born, I wanted to create a ‘look’ for our posters and logos which celebrated visual art in honor of the city in which we were founded.  I went to my father who immediately said yes and then worked with us from 2004, right through to our present efforts in creating a new logo for The GTP.

Daddy was always willing to work until we found the feeling we were hoping to create with each piece.  His contribution was so powerful that those who worked with me in Florence, although having never met him, mourned him with honest feeling for having lost one of their own.

He was always wanting to help.  To offer his art to our vision. One of the most meaningful gifts I ever gave was a baseball cap for his 80th birthday with the letters ‘FITC’ on the front (for Florence International Theatre Company) and ‘Official Artist’ on the back.   And he wore that cap proudly and often.  In fact, we buried him with it.  I truly believe he would have loved that.

I am his oldest daughter with almost 50 years to my name, but I have been reduced in these months to being his little girl seeking contact and comfort.  And guidance.

In these days I have turned toward examining the scope of my father’s work for answers.  84 years of expression and creativity.  He was a father I loved dearly, but I have learned more during this time about the man who lived those 84 years through immersing myself in his art, and wrapping it around my heart.

I was terrified when I sat in front of his coffin.  However I knew I needed this time alone with him so that I could truly allow him to pass in peace, and so I could understand that his life, as I knew it, has ended.  It was impossible to stand up and look at him.  I cried and wailed in ways I never thought capable of.  But then I began to breathe.  To bring honor to this moment between Gerry Hochwald and his daughter, Bari.  This last physical moment in time and space.  Slowly, very slowly I was able to stand.  And slowly, very slowly able to look.  It took an hour but by the end of this time I was, truly, joyful.  And at peace.  My father never did anything he didn’t want to do.

I have only recently begun to ‘come back to life.’  I have looked so hard at the work I have created, at the passions I hold dear.  And at The Global Theatre Project which has been the center of my creative and expressive life.  I have been questioning the point of many things, the meaning behind passion and inquiry, and why it is important to stay on a path which is consciously chosen and engaged with.  Why it is important to create at all, in fact.  And whether trying to have relevant impact in a world such as this truly matters.

Devoting yourself to creative expression comes from a need.  One that my father never articulated to me with words but that, clearly, he experienced through his art.  In quiet examination of his work I see an inquiry into passion, terror, harmony, discord, joy, playfulness, despair, hope, darkness, light, vibration, movement, stillness.  In other words I see the texture of Life being processed through an instrument and a blank surface, or in his later years, a mouse and a computer screen.  And this gift, this legacy of expression that my father has left me, I must carry forward.  Because that is what human beings do.  We create.  And this life that we have.  This one life. . . offers us the possibility to experience and express so much while learning the one essential thing of true value. . . who we are.  Until we know that, I believe we will continue to hurt each other, continue to destroy our world, continue to miss the point.  Creativity and art shines a light onto darkness and becomes a container of the human journey.

This past year I have stepped away from my own creativity in order to focus on structuring The GTP.  And, in doing so, I missed the point as well.  My father said to me on several ocassions that, when drawing, I need to use a lighter grip on the pencil.  I need to let ‘it’ flow.  He is wise in this teaching.  I have kept a strong hand, a strong position, on what I feel I must do in this world.  And recently that tight grip has kept this flow from happening.  So I have recommitted myself to the expressive journey. Without which, it is impossible for me to truly offer a container for others to do the same . . . the core point of The GTP.   And I am fortunate that, just as that commitment was made, our new Producing Director, Larry Minion, appeared to take from me some of the responsibilities that have distracted me from being able to do that.  A gift from my father?  Possibly.

As I said at the top of this post, I miss my father so very much.  But I am clear that this is not the end of our story.  Gerry Hochwald left an enormous legacy through his Love and his art.  And I know we will continue to create together.  And I am deeply, deeply grateful for this understanding and guidance.

Thank you for spending the time to read these words.  Below are examples both of my father’s work as incorporated into a few of the posters of Florence International Theatre Company as well as a few of his recent pieces.

Bari